Just in time for Valentine’s Day, I have a wedding ring question

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  • #91100 Reply
    Kim

      Some background: I am not a jewelry kind of girl, but I wore my engagement and wedding ring every day for years until it didn’t fit my finger anymore. Last year, our house was broken into and it was stolen from my jewelry box. I have considered replacing it with a nice looking fake because the real thing seems a waste of money. At the same time, it is an important symbol to me and I don’t know if it would feel right to me if it wasn’t real.

      Steve and I talked about the 2 month salary rule. We certainly didn’t spend that much the first time around and I can’t imagine us doing it this time, but I am looking at something in the $2000 range. I just cant seem to pull the trigger. Thoughts?

      PS- we have been married 23 years this year. We spent $300 on the first ring.

      #91102 Reply
      Elizabeth

        Check out Etsy! I don’t personally like diamonds and there were great alternatives there.

        #91103 Reply
        Caitlin

          Assuming you’re in good financial shape and not going into debt to buy it, get what you want. It’s supposed to last a lifetime, right? Get something you feel good about wearing daily and you feel is a nice symbol of your relationship. That doesn’t have to mean expensive but if $2k is what it costs for what you love, do it.

          There are far worse things to spend $2k on.

          #91104 Reply
          Elizabeth

            Diamonique QVC. I have an insanely expensive ring and after losing two pieces of expensive jewelry and being mugged on the nyc subway I ordered a two piece epiphany Diamonique set from QVC. I’ve had it for years and only one time lost the stone and called them to see if I could buy another one and they replaced it for free. I get compliments all the time and had someone make a snarky remark about my cartier ring.

            #91105 Reply
            Katie

              Personally, I went with cheap when I couldn’t fit mine from 3 pregnancies. It’s a ring. It’s a symbol. The money behind it doesn’t matter. More to invest.

              #91106 Reply
              Reagan

                I second Etsy. Beautiful, one-of-a-kind pieces can be found. Love what you’ll wear and what it will represent whether it’s $200 or $2000.

                #91107 Reply
                Annette

                  This is my replacement wedding ring. I was too hard on the original and kept knocking out stones. This one was $25, is made of stainless steel, and has a heart with my husband’s name on it.

                  I love it!

                  wedding ring

                  #91108 Reply
                  Sarah

                    Get a ring that makes you feel beautiful and loved, and something that makes you feel good every time you look down at it. And if it happens to be expensive get it insured! It’s very affordable to insure jewelry!

                    #91109 Reply
                    Julie

                      If it makes you happy and is meaningful do it. You’ll wear it every day for the next 23 years.

                      #91110 Reply
                      Megan

                        Moissanites are my favorite stone because they are more ethical than diamonds and have more fire and sparkle. You can definitely find tons of beautiful rings under $2k.

                        Mine was well under $1k for a carat (this was pre-FI and still seems like a big number now!).

                        #91111 Reply
                        Cathleen

                          You might also be pleased with vintage rings from an antique seller-they come with a great story, are usually priced pretty well, and I can personally say that old European or mine cut diamonds seem to sparkle a hell of alot more than those huge 2-4 carat monstrosities modern marketing says you need.

                          #91112 Reply
                          Amy

                            If you are debt free I would get a new one to your liking for sentimental reasons. Not every purchase has to be practical as long as it is not too crazy of a purchase.

                            #91113 Reply
                            Jennifer

                              I love my ring from James Allen. I was able to design it myself. Originally had planned on moissanite (or something from Etsy) but then decided I wanted something that held its value.

                              #91114 Reply
                              Jeni

                                Brilliant Earth is another place to get an ethical lab-created diamond for much less than the real thing. My brother just bought one for his fiancé from them and it’s gorgeous.

                                #91115 Reply
                                Becky

                                  If this is something really important to you then spend the 2K and get what you love. It’s your wedding ring…not some random item.

                                  I agree with many ladies that cheap can be wonderful (I love my $50 tattoo wedding ring and hardly wear my diamond at all) but if this is important to you then go for it and save in other areas.

                                  Have you seen: Best way to sell engagement ring or cash in gold jewelry?

                                  #91116 Reply
                                  Karen

                                    Do it. My diamond was kinda lost years ago and my husband was after be forever but it really wasn’t important and I wasn’t into another diamond. Ended up having a Zircon (?) stone – it’s a mineral I think -,surrounded by small diamonds. I love it – no regrets!

                                    But get creative!

                                    diamond

                                    #91117 Reply
                                    Angie

                                      Just a thought…our set was purchased from a pawn shop. Nice set, very affordable and you can haggle on the cost which is much cheaper than new.

                                      #91118 Reply
                                      Caelie

                                        My fiancé dropped a lot of money on my engagement ring (paid cash, but still)… but I would have been just as happy if it wasn’t real diamonds and white gold. Any other gemstone or crystal would have been just as pretty in a different metal, especially since he designed this ring himself and it’s perfect for my taste— simple— and for his— makes a statement— so I think he could do it again with different materials. This same man also got me a necklace years ago.

                                        It’s not diamonds or white gold; it’s crystals in sterling silver.

                                        It could have been $30 at Kohl’s for all I know. But I wear it every day and think about him every time I have to adjust the chain or just grace it with my fingers.

                                        Both are important to me, and that’s why I love them, price tag be damned.

                                        #91119 Reply
                                        Lori

                                          I’m so sorry that your wedding set was stolen!! That is so awful. I can’t even imagine. Well, you should do what you and your husband both feel comfortable with. Though I will say that, in time, you *might* regret spending that much on jewelry. This is why I say this: my husband and I were both low income military enlisted when we met and married. Our wedding rings all together (my engagement, wedding band, and his wedding band) all cost $550.00 for the set in 1988 and we married in 1989. My diamond is small and I actually insisted on this because I wanted us to have more money to build a nice life together with. There was vague talk of ‘upgrading’ the diamond years down the road when we were better off financially. Well, I never gave my diamond another thought until we were about to celebrate our 25th anniversary. Some of my husbands friends were encouraging him to buy me some sort of spectacular diamond anniversary ring. Instead, he proposed that we upsize my diamond. But then I realized that this little diamond has been through so many ups and downs in our life — it was a valued part of our marriage.

                                          I told him at the time he could buy me OTHER diamonds in other forms of jewelry, but just not replace my engagement ring. Fast forward a year later, when I suddenly decided on my 47th birthday that I wanted to pay off the remaining $96K mortgage within 3 years. We make a modest combined 5-figure income, so this was a bit of a stretch, but I wanted to own the house outright by the time I turned 50. Well, we made that goal a month early . . .then took another year to pay off a car loan. Now we’ve been 100% debt-free for 7 months now, and it feels fantastic! We’d been a bit behind in our retirement savings, so we have been SHOVELING at least 50% of our income into retirement savings, living on less than half our income. It is very liberating. Now I feel that I don’t ever want to spend money on jewelry ever again! I now know about how money grows and compounds so incredibly over the years. That $2,000 would compound to $13,696 with average interest rate of 8% in 25 years (stock market historically returns 10%).

                                          I value the security of the money more than a piece of shiny jewelry now. I would still get a ring, if I were in your shoes, but I would be chomping at the bit to get a ‘fake’ for two reasons — the considerable cost savings, and the fact if someone stole it again, I would not be “out” $2,000. Also, a ring that valuable should be insured. That’s gonna cost you more, too. Anyhow, I see it a lot with people here . .. we get a taste of what it’s like to be FI and all of a sudden, things that we so important to us in the past no longer hold the appeal. Once you buy the ring, you won’t be able to get that price back. Like cars, jewelry depreciates as soon as you walk out the door with it.

                                          #91120 Reply
                                          Patrick

                                            Does the metal and stone in the ring represent something special to you? Will a $2000 ring bring you more joy then a $300 ring?

                                            Buy what you can afford but just because you can buy more doesn’t mean you have to. If it will bring you more happiness and you can afford it then get what you want.

                                            #91121 Reply
                                            Briana

                                              My husband paid $1800 for my ring. 21 years ago. At the same time he bought me a car. For $1800. I still have my ring.

                                              #91122 Reply
                                              Jacy

                                                I bought the band I wanted with real diamonds and put a big piece of glass in as the 1k middle diamond. Way cheaper. Even the jeweler’s comment on how nice it is until they put it under the microscope and then they say. Excuse me mam did you know your diamond is a fake? I did but you didn’t 😂

                                                #91123 Reply
                                                Jennifer

                                                  I love jewelry. Especially estate pieces. Old cut diamonds have the most character. Because they have some color to them (often) you can get good deals. And they don’t make them like they used to! If you’re set on something traditional, I’d go moissanite. Both options are ethical, if you’re concerned about that.

                                                  #91124 Reply
                                                  Jen

                                                    The recommendations on % of salary are just a ploy to spend more. Buy one you love at a reasonable price.

                                                    #91125 Reply
                                                    Helen

                                                      I’m all for getting something you love within your budget. But I’d also recommend that you first take a while to think about what you actually love vs what modern marketing has sold to you as the perfect wedding ring. Are diamonds really your thing? Maybe you might actually fall in love with a vintage emerald from a local antique shop, or a gorgeous contemporary pearl setting off etsy.

                                                      Spending 2 months salary on a sparkler because that’s the “recommendation” doesn’t sound like a personal choice for anyone…

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