Is it too much to ask for 12 weeks off?

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  • #80323 Reply

      Updated to add offer: I was officially offered the job. They offered a rate lower than I wanted: $24 vs $28 an hour for a 20 hour work week after 3 month is unpaid maternity leave. They upped the pay to $25 an hour but can’t do more since it’s a grant funded position currently. I know there’s potential to grow. I’m in Alabama and wondering if this is a good pay. I’ve been working a very flexible job at a medical office but the pay is sooooo low ($13.75). About a year ago I lived somewhere else (HCOL) and made $34 an hour in addition to free health insurance so it feels weird. I have until Monday to decide. Part of me feels worried I won’t find something better later. Part of worried I won’t want to work. My family says if I decide to not return after then that’s totally fine. I should try it out anyway if I want to. Any advice?

      I’m considering taking a part-time job, and I’m 27 weeks pregnant. I disclosed this before my second interview.

      I wouldn’t qualify for paid maternal leave.

      This is my first ever pregnancy. I was thinking of asking for 8 weeks unpaid off. My mom suggested I ask for 12 weeks off.

      1) Is it too much to ask for 12 weeks off? This employer gives 6 weeks paid time off to employees who have worked for a year.

      2) What other things should I research or ask for before accepting this?

      **Things to consider:

      This is an office job with zero benefits and with training travel 2-3 a year (optional to do training from home).

      My mom will be watching my baby when I work and she lives less than 1 mile from my husband’s office- so no significant time required for baby drop off.

      I was told no to my request for work from home or a hybrid schedule. This is something I really wanted but not a dealbreaker for part time work.

      Job is 5 miles from my house.

      I was told I would not get paid time off but could ask for non paid time for when I deliver

      I was considering not working at all the first year to enjoy baby (I can afford to due to husband’s job) but this opportunity presented itself and I’m interested. I like making my own money.

      So far I’ve had a relatively healthy textbook pregnancy except my recent diagnosis with anemia which is being treated.

      #80324 Reply

        Coming from a country that has standard 12-18 month maternity leave, I cannot fathom returning to work after 12 weeks let alone even less. I’d say ask for at least 12 weeks. You might also find yourself feeling differently about working once baby is here.

        #80325 Reply

          Take the job, take the 12 weeks off and it’s fine to keep looking for something else.

          #80326 Reply

            What you think you can do before you have a baby and what you can actually do after you have the baby are two completely different things. Do not work if you don’t have to. Take at least a year to be with your baby. You won’t be sleeping and it will be exhausting. Plus your baby needs you. The year flies by and you have the rest of your life to work. You can’t get that year back.

            #80327 Reply

              If a job does not have enough flexibility to allow 12 weeks unpaid then it’s probably not a good fit for a new parent. Even if you think you’ll be ready at 8, ask for six. If they’re crappy or even hesitant, that’s a huge red flag for me.

              #80328 Reply

                I would ask for 12 weeks off. The worst they can say is no. I will also be the voice of understanding that you might enjoy a part time job you like once your baby is 3 months old. You’ll miss your child but there is something to say for adult human interaction and getting away from the Relentless care of a baby intermittently. It’s okay to want to do both!

                #80329 Reply

                  First, the employer probably offers short term disability which is the 6 weeks paid. It’s not out of kindness.

                  Also, I’d work until you deliver them quit. Spend the time with your baby.

                  #80330 Reply

                    I would spend a year at home with baby then figure out working. It is a year you will never get back!!

                    #80331 Reply

                      You’ll probably feel very different when the baby actually arrives. I’d take the year off with the baby if it was me. That is precious time that will fly by. It will allow you to breast feed comfortably (if you want to, of course.)

                      #80332 Reply

                        I’d wait until you are settled in the job and then discuss a 12 week unpaid sabbatical. I’m 36 weeks with my second and there’s no way I would’ve been ready to go back to work at 8 weeks, I was barely getting meals and showers on my own at that point. Some women are different and do very well post partum, but I was not one of them. Even 12 weeks felt extremely short.

                        #80333 Reply

                          I got to have 6 months with my baby and I really appreciated it! You’ll be exhausted and your body will still be recovering at 12 weeks. It so hard leaving your baby when they are so vulnerable that you may want to wait and see after you have the baby, if you even feel like working. It seems like this job opportunity is something your excited about. I guarantee you, nothing will be as exciting as having a baby though and maybe there will be positions similar when you are ready to work.

                          #80334 Reply

                            I started working the day our now 17yr old turned 2weeks.

                            I was a functioning zombie. I will not recommend unless you don’t have a choice.

                            But, I felt like I couldn’t pick one. I wanted a family, a career and my own money.

                            If you are able to choose, pick what makes you happy and fulfilled. It could be one or all three.

                            Ask for 12weeks off unpaid. If they refuse, quit. There will always be another job.

                            #80335 Reply

                              Honestly, if it were me, I would stay home for the first year. I know you said you like making your own money, but figuring out childcare is really tough (even if it is a grandparent) and you really do not get the time back. They have said no to everything you asked for- paid maternity, a hybrid schedule. How are they going to be when your baby is sick and needs you? If you do decide to go forward demand 12 weeks, and clarify how your time off will look. I would also continue to ask for some paid maternity leave.

                              #80336 Reply

                                Definitely ask for the most amount of time off that you can. Ask for more since that gives you room to negotiate. I had 12 weeks off and it wasn’t nearly enough time. It goes by so fast and you’ll be going back to work once you start to finally get the hang of being a parent. You won’t qualify for FMLA because you have to have worked 1200 hours or been there a year. You have to be aware that there’s no guarantee they will keep your position or let you come back after you have the baby since you aren’t protected under FMLA.

                                #80337 Reply

                                  How long will it take them to train you? Basically, you’re asking to work for about 12 weeks (I assume mostly training that time depending on the role) and then take 12 weeks off. Assuming you retain everything you learn, you’d kinda start working 6 months from now.

                                  That seems like a lot to ask of a company that has an opening now.

                                  I’d consider finding something temporary for now if money is an issue, then quitting when Baby arrives and then finding something PT when you’re ready to go back.

                                  #80338 Reply

                                    Definitely ask for 3 months minimum. I have 4 kids (3 pregnancies) and delivered epidural, natural, and c section. The c section was by far a harder recovery and babies typically take 12 weeks to start sleeping through the night. If you plan to breastfeed, ask where you will be provided room to pump at the office, with a locked door. They must provide a room that is not the bathroom! Something I cannot explain is the love you’re going to have as a mother.

                                    It is other worldly! You won’t want to leave the baby so soon. Worth mentioning, I am not a sahm.

                                    It’s not for me. But leaving an infant was way harder than dropping a toddler off at preschool for me, especially the first one. I was able to work from home the first year after delivery. Around the 6m mark it got really hard to do so because baby was awake so much I had to have a sitter come in. Good luck and congratulations!

                                    #80339 Reply

                                      I can’t say what’s right for you, but many of us find that first year with a baby to be very difficult and exhausting. I’m thankful that I was able to stay home with my babies. There has been plenty of time for work since then.

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