Can’t handle remote work with abusive boss and kids at home. How did others make it work?

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  • #96015 Reply

      I am miserable at my job… like, I feel as though I’m on the brink of a nervous breakdown. By the end of every week my house looks like a depression pit because I don’t have the energy to do anything. However, I have a well paying remote job… those of you who had to make it work with school aged children, what did you do? I don’t think I can go another month in this position, my boss is abusive.

      #96016 Reply

        I planned out the next few years and where I wanted to be. I prioritized paying off all debt while I went back and got another degree on my lunch breaks and evenings. Now I teach high school math at a small rural school where class sizes are small, parents and kids (for the most part) still respect the judgment of teachers, and I make less than half of what I made before. The process was exhausting to get here and the first year of teaching (and building all of my materials) has been exhausting but I know I’ll be better for it.

        Next year I will have way less to do for my classes. Plus I laugh every day now, I get more human interaction, I get up and walk around, eat all my lunches, and go to the bathroom more than I ever did in my old job, if I feel like teaching class outside in the sunshine it’s my choice, and I’ve built my curriculum/classroom management so that I have few issues with parents and the blame game. It also helps that I chose a school with a great principal.

        So different than the high stress job I had before where my boss and upper management would not stop pushing all of us to the point of literal mental breakdowns and heart attacks. At some point, you have to learn to say no and find out what would bring you more joy. Because I did not want to become another department statistic. The money wasn’t worth it.

        ….in the next year I’m hoping I get more sleep now that I’ve got everything else where I want it. (Fingers crossed.)

        Also, I bought myself one “happy coffee cup” that I left in a box in my office as a goal for the days where I didn’t think I could last another minute of my job. I refused to open it until I had met my goals and could officially quit. I visualized my first day of “retirement” sitting on my back deck and just drinking coffee in a cup that I didn’t need a lid on because I wasn’t going to feel stressed anymore. Looking at that box saved my sanity more than once. And before I knew it, I was finally out of the chaos.

        You can do it!

        #96017 Reply

          I am a single momma and I get it. Good for you for asking for ideas, that is the first step. Are you doing anything for you? A few mins a day – can be anything small things first. For work, if you dont enjoy, keep looking. Any coworking spaces around you for interactions? Just thoughts. I used to panic about my job too.

          But I am dialing it back in. Just my experience – went from a SAHM to a high level corporate job and it has been alot…. So working alot on meditation and anxiety when it rears up. Check out MBSR – mindfulness based stress reduction programs…

          Keep going, not all life is amazing.

          #96018 Reply

            Have you considered going out on short term disability? It will give you a chance to regroup and gather yourself.

            #96019 Reply

              Nothing is worth the deterioration of your mental health. Find another job quick.

              #96020 Reply

                Gather specific examples of your boss’s inappropriate/uncalled for actions and report them to HR.

                #96021 Reply

                  Life really is too short for this job. Chances are it won’t change. Remote jobs can be especially tough because there’s no one there to support you or to commiserate with. Don’t blame yourself, just suck it up and move on. Everything else will miraculously get better.

                  #96022 Reply

                    Having a bad boss makes a big difference.

                    Keep looking for another job. I read you said you were. Have you tried headhunters aka recruiters? They help. If you see a position you like, see if you have friends that work there to get your resume handed to someone in HR. It gets your foot in the door.

                    Or transfer to another department if possible.

                    I hear ya on the depression and the lack of energy.

                    Being stressed out is draining.

                    It’s not easy being a working mom too because you never get a break. I don’t have kids but every mom is tired so it’s not just you.

                    They say working from home is hard because we work longer. For example, you probably aren’t taking an hour lunch break. My hubby works longer than 8 hours at home too.

                    Just keep thinking, I’ll find another job soon and get out of Dodge. (Old expression).

                    Can you report your boss to HR?

                    I felt like you needed a positive comment. You’ll get a new job and things will be better one day soon.

                    Good luck with everything!

                    #96023 Reply

                      Find a new job. I used to have up to 6 jobs a year. That old mentality of working somewhere for 30 years for a great pension and benefits is gone. Do what’s best for you!

                      When you quit, always maintain a good work ethic up until the very end. Always take pride in your work no matter what. I still have companies I only worked for 2-6 months, calling me wanting me to come back.

                      #96024 Reply

                        Is it absolutely necessary to be remote? To be completely honest, working completely remote was the worst for my mental health. It made me hate being at home when realistically home should be my safe space.

                        I would advise to look into something more hybrid. As far as the abusive/toxic boss, unfortunately that it is not something easily changed. Best to find a new job and get out of that environment.

                        I know this is controversial to some, but a paycheck is NOT worth my health. Stress is a silent killer. Get out as soon as you can!

                        #96025 Reply

                          I would start looking for another job. I get paid relatively well in my career but I have left many jobs because it is frustrating me – usually it is the manager that can make or break a situation for me. I feel at peace with my current manager. It really makes a big difference to me. I am a bit on the sensitive side tbh lol but it is what it is. I am 41 and I know myself well enough. Start interviewing… even if it’s within the same company…

                          I would call out sick to reset if I have to. Or take a personal day. I wouldn’t ask permission for these things. I ask permission for planned vacations but with sick and personal time I let them know I am taking the time off. Most of the time I still work a little bit but it’s on my terms so I still get to decompress if I needed to.

                          I personally work in pharma and small companies to big companies range the spectrum… so you might just need to find a place keeping in mind what makes you happy and interview them to find out how they operate you know

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