[USER]

Getting divorced. I am in Florida.

We own 1 home, have assets, and teenaged children. We are in agreement on splitting the assets.

Is an attorney for each of us really necessary if we are both in agreement?

It seems that we would save a ton by just using a mediator. A mediator is an attorney, being paid as a neutral party, as opposed to focused on the interests of one of us (at least, this is how the mediator framed or to me).

I am not sure why we would each seek separate representation in our circumstance.

Thank you

[Kimberlee]

I am an attorney and mediator. A mediator helps facilitate the conversation between the parties so they can agree on everything that needs to be addressed (and s/he can make sure you know what issues those are). You do NOT need 2 mediators. A mediator is a neutral party who doesn’t represent either of you. You can each have your own attorney who is hired to represent you and your best interests.

If it’s truly amicable and there are no issues of disagreement, you could have the mediator (if s/he is also an attorney) help you draft the documents and that’s it. Or you could each hire an attorney to review the documents and advise you each on that – still less expensive than fighting it out with attorneys from the beginning.

In many counties, there are forms you can pick up from the courthouse and fill out yourselves as well.

[Amy]

Do not do a divorce yourself when you have assets. My ex and I had an amicable plan of splitting everything. But, we both had attorneys.

I had mine on retainer for $3000, only spent $1500 and got a $1500 check back. You want an attorney to review your plan and make recommendations. My attorney also filed with the courts for me.

Best money I’ve spent. A divorce doesn’t need 20 grand but don’t go in without legal advice.

[Lauren]

How old are your children? Please remember things could turn very quickly once one of you finds a new partner… and say… wants the children for Christmas? Or wants a vacation during school? Also, do you have college accounts for the kids that you both agree to continue contributing to?

Speaking from experience, mediation is quick, relatively easy and inexpensive, but make sure it’s thorough otherwise you’ll find yourself retaining an attorney in a few years.

Or yes, as others said, find an attorney now to review. — your children may not older and you may already discussed these topics, just some thoughts.

[Michele]

I dunno…If you’re angry and he’s happy and seeing some one else, and is now making parenting decisions without you, you may not be looking at everything objectively.

Might be good to retain your own representative to make sure you aren’t leaving anything on the table.

[Adam]

A good mediator might be all you need on the legal side. Since you own a home and dividing some assets, I would strongly suggest talking with a Certified Divorce Lending Professional (like myself or another CDLP that you might know).

I help people understand all their options with both keeping or selling the house/buying a new one, and all the potential issues with how a divorce impacts things.

That advice is free and I can look at the assets to see if it might help to bring in a financial specialist in case there are major tax implications with any of the assets. It’s not always easy to simply split 50/50.

If either of you are planning to keep the home, that can add a lot of complexity to it where you definitely want to talk to someone like myself.

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