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Curmudgeon Quotes in Pictures
You’re obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That’s the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world. ~ Octave Mirbeau – Torture Garden
You raise your eyes to heaven to invoke it, and a swallow’s dung falls into them and dries them up… You are in the shadow of your garden, and you shout: “Oh! what a beautiful rose!” and the rose pricks you; “Oh, what a beautiful fruit!” there is a wasp on it, and the fruit bites you. ~ Claude Tillier – (1801–1844), My Uncle Benjamin: A Humorous, Satirical, and Philosophical Novel, 1843, translated from the French by Benjamin R. Tucker, 1890
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved? ~ Mark Twain – Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894
When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools. ~ William Shakespeare – King Lear
We semaphore from ship to ship, but they’re sinking, too. ~ Mignon McLaughlin – The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. ~ Kenneth Clark
This world is gradually becoming a place
Where I do not care to be any more. ~ John Berryman
Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse. ~ Bill Press
There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. ~ Maya Angelou – PBS, 1988 March 28th
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death. ~ Fran Lebowitz
There are some mortals who are never happy save when they have some hurt feelings to enjoy. ~ Author unknown, from Dallas-Galveston News, c.1894
There are people who have an appetite for grief; pleasure is not strong enough and they crave pain. They have mithridatic stomachs which must be fed on poisoned bread, natures so doomed that no prosperity can sooth their ragged and dishevelled desolation. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. ~ George Bernard Shaw
The only thing that could spoil a day was people. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself. ~ Ernest Hemingway
The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial. ~ Alban Goodier
The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all its meaninglessness. ~ Martin Esslin
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs. ~ Charles de Gaulle
Sorrow hides behind all your pleasures; you are gluttonous rats which it attracts with a bit of savory bacon. ~ Claude Tillier – (1801–1844), My Uncle Benjamin: A Humorous, Satirical, and Philosophical Novel, 1843, translated from the French by Benjamin R. Tucker, 1890
Sometimes you wake up in the morning and wish your parents had never met. ~ Bill Fitch
Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own. ~ Jonathan Swift – The Battle of the Books, 1704
Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit. ~ Author Unknown
Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother’s wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women. ~ Lemony Snicket
Oh for a lodge in some vast wilderness,
Some boundless contiguity of shade,
Where rumour of oppression and deceit,
Of unsuccessful or successful war,
Might never reach me more. ~ William Cowper
Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. ~ Lemony Snicket
O, could I clamber to the frozen moon,
And cut away my ladder! ~ George H. Boker – The Betrothal: A Play, 1850 (Pulti)
Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation. ~ James Thurber – Further Fables for Our Time, 1956
Nothing is more miserable than man,
Of all upon the earth that breathes and creeps. ~ Homer – Iliad
Nothing begins, and nothing ends,
That is not paid with moan;
For we are born in others’ pain,
And perish in our own. ~ Francis Thompson
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth. ~ Horace Walpole
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists. ~ Jean Rostand
Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious. ~ Edgar Saltus
Many of us go through life feeling as an actor might feel who does not like his part, and does not believe in the play. ~ Mignon McLaughlin – The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
Janie’s a pretty typical teenager — angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that’s all going to pass, but I don’t want to lie to her. ~ Alan Ball – American Beauty, 1999
I’ve always been interested in people, but I’ve never liked them. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
It’s just life — wake up and smell the thorns. ~ From the movie Meet Joe Black
It is people who make me seasick—not the sea. But I am afraid that science has yet to find a solution for this ailment. ~ Albert Einstein – 1930
It is not a fragrant world. ~ Raymond Chandler
In fact, the author would seem affected with a chronic nausea of mankind… ~ “Spiritual Jugglery: The Story of ‘Perversion'” (critique of William John Conybeare’s Perversion: or, The Causes and Consequences of Infidelity: A Tale for the Times, 1856), in Titan: A Monthly Magazine (conjoined series, continuation of Hogg’s Instructor) (James Hogg), Vol. XXIII, September – 1856
I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm. ~ Author unknown
If there be a hell upon earth, it is to be found in a melancholy man’s heart. ~ Robert Burton – The Anatomy of Melancholy
Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. ~ David T. Wolf
I would ask something more of this world, if it had something more. ~ Antonio Porchia – Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
I see it all perfectly: there are two possibilities, one can either do this or do that. My honest opinion and friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it, you will regret both. ~ Søren Kierkegaard
I never knew whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray
I love mankind — it’s people I can’t stand. ~ Charles M. Schulz – Go Fly a Kite, Charlie Brown
I like people. I just prefer it when they’re not around. ~ Zoo – “First Blood” (season 1, episode 1), original airdate 2015 June 30th, spoken by Mitch Morgan [writing credits: Appelbaum, Nemec, Pinkner, Rosenberg, Patterson, Ledwidge]
I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me. ~ Fred Allen
I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den. It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free and ending just where it began. ~ William Hazlitt
I grieve for life’s bright promise, just shown and then withdrawn. ~ William Cullen Bryant
I don’t answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end. ~ Fred Couples
He seems
To have seen better days, as who has not
Who has seen yesterday? ~ George Gordon Byron
He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enough of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind. ~ Willa Cather
He had an astringent spirit, the sort of fellow who uses dehydrated onion when the recipe calls for fresh, not because he’s out but solely on principle. ~ Terri Guillemets
Happy endings are only stories that haven’t finished yet. ~ Simon Kinberg – Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. ~ Ernest Hemingway – (Thanks, Schanna)
Go by, go by, with all your din,
Your dust, your greed, your guile,
Your pomp, your gold; you cannot win
From her one smile….
Outlawed? Then hills and glens and streams
Are outlawed, too.
Proud world, from our immortal dreams,
We banish you. ~ Alfred Noyes – “The Outlaw, ” The Century Magazine, January 1912
Fate stalks us with depressing monotony from womb to tomb, and, when we are least expecting it, deals us a series of crushing blows from behind. ~ Hesketh Pearson – The Whispering Gallery
Ever get the feeling that sometime early in your life there must have been a briefing that you missed? ~ Robert Brault – rbrault.blogspot.com
But ah! disasters have their use;
And life might e’en be too sunshiny… ~ Charles Stuart Calverley – “Disaster,” Fly Leaves, 1872
All our lives we are putting pennies — our most golden pennies — into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith
All my joys to this are folly,
Naught so sweet as melancholy. ~ Robert Burton – The Anatomy of Melancholy, 1651
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people. ~ Peter McArthur
A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. ~ Oscar Wilde – Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1893
![[T]he army of wrongness rampant](https://www.photos-elsoar.com/wp-content/images/The-army-of-wrongness-rampant.jpg)
[T]he army of wrongness rampant in the world might as well march over me. ~ Truman Capote – Breakfast at Tiffany’s, 1958
![[M]an is a machine made expressly](https://www.photos-elsoar.com/wp-content/images/Man-is-a-machine-made-expressly.jpg)
[M]an is a machine made expressly for sorrow; he has only five senses with which to receive pleasure, and suffering comes to him through the whole surface of his body…. The man who does not suffer is an ill-made machine, an imperfect creature… ~ Claude Tillier – (1801–1844), My Uncle Benjamin: A Humorous, Satirical, and Philosophical Novel, 1843, translated from the French by Benjamin R. Tucker, 1890
![[I] put the question directly](https://www.photos-elsoar.com/wp-content/images/I-put-the-question-directly.jpg)
[I] put the question directly to myself: “Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?” And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, “No!” ~ John Stuart Mill – Autobiography, 1909